Michelle Dry
Tuesday, 5 November 2013
The opening for Rich Idiot.com 2 The dating game.
A hint of what is to come in Rich Idiot.com 2 - the dating game.
As a motivation to finish Rich idiot.com - Dating is on sale for 98p until the below is complete. My intention with the second is to make it more funny, more real with absolutely excruciating moments! What fun - I love it. I hope you do too!
Link: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Rich-Idiot-com-Dating-Idiot-ebook/dp/B00ATF8QF2
Rich Idiot.com 2?
The dating game.
Happy New Year Gracie!!! Welcome back to Winter Wonder England. Did you like my Russian play on words? How many glamorous blonde Russian women do you know who can play with English language and make brilliance with their sentence? I am not showing usual modesty but am feeling very proud! You know I almost said welcome back to Winter Wonder Bra but that would involve up-lift with icicle hanging from nipple. Frozen bosom is not nice image for anyone. Erect nipples often cause embarrassment but large icicles sticking out. People would notice and do strange eye thing at each other. Of course some men would stop and stare – as if they need any excuse!
Now I have question – the word icicle... How does that work because you ice a cake don’t you? So would you ice a nipple too? It sounds similar does it not? I am just thinking out loud about strange English sayings.
Anyway, I missed you while you were away. Work was boring and there were no decent gossips. Women in office suffer from post-Christmas fattyness and bloated bottoms get stuck in chairs. One woman went to stand up and chair stayed firmly fixed on squidgy behind. No one said anything...We all silently side-glanced as she tried to pretend nothing had happened. I thought such incident would make you raise a newly spa’d eyebrow!
Anyway, I want to know about Miami and if you made a new man tick list for this year. It is time for us to focus on finding you the right exciting man. As you say, let’s get the Rocky music on and have you back in the ring. You might have got knocked out in first round by Andreas but you now know how he punches. You know his game but he does not know yours. Oh I did small clap. I am joggling in my seat. You can use your dating ‘game’ knowledge to your advantage and rise again (I looked up ‘dating game’ on Google). You know we need dating entertainment and analysis to get us through boring days. This time of year is when gyms are filled with squidgy shaking bottoms and everyone pretends to eat fruit whilst hiding in toilet cubicles sneaking cake... So I need you here doing dating disaster. We need to discuss analyse and learn new things about men, wealth and life! I can’t bear the bulbus bottom brigade (this is your saying – I wrote it down). I need a distraction. Oh what fun! La, la, laaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
I made another small clap. Three grey-knicker women in office jumped at the sound. All three chairs went in air with their fat bottoms. This could be dangerous situation, we might need first aider and goose fat to get them out at home time! Horrible thought – applying goose fat to wobbly grey-knicker bottoms!
Eva.
If you know anyone who would like to laugh aloud in public and has had shit dates - please share Rich Idiot.com with them:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Rich-Idiot-com-Dating-Idiot-ebook/dp/B00ATF8QF2
Who milks a pig? Rich idiot.com - dating taster.
Richidiot.com dating - The e-book will be 98p to download until I complete Richidiot.com - dating 2.
Here is the Link: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00ATF8QF2
Eva,
In general, I would advise you to avoid milking pigs. It is just something I learned when I was young – it seems they don’t like it – especially by Russian women with particularly well - manicured nails. You might prefer to start with a goat and work up to a smiling cow. The cow is the one with the hanging udders – do not try and milk any other kind – especially if there is only one appendage hanging down. Incidentally, what is it with this milking mania? We have Andreas sending cow milking in pictorial form and now you pig milking – there has to be something in the air! Farming hobbies?
Oh and talking of random, last night I was in the supermarket and saw the ‘ghost of diet hell past’. She was in the chocolate isle and appeared to be arguing with a bar of chocolate. ‘I don’t need you – I can’t eat you, you make me fat!’ she then put the chocolate down, turned around picked it up, then jumped up and down. I hid at the end of the isle watching her going through this conflict. It was terrifying to watch and something I have experienced when I did the original diet. Eventually she picked up four bars and stormed to the checkout. She really seems to be in a state of struggle. After doing that extreme diet I only eat dark chocolate now because then I just have a taste and that is it. My will power is rubbish too but to witness someone argue with chocolate in public... Mad.
Gracie.
The link to richidiot.com on Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00ATF8QF2
Another Rich Idiot.com - dating taster...
Link: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00ATF8QF2
Rich idiot.com - dating.
Oh Eva, why do I always manage to attract complete dicks? At least I have upped my game to the wealthier dick! I suppose the fact that man has a dick is something to do with it. It seems that the weighted difference between the upper brain and the lesser brain is the main cause of all the issues. Gravity and the dick brain... I will reply to the mail with the following:
Hi Andreas, I am about to go for a long stroll by the beach with a friend and then to a cafe. Later this evening I will enjoy sitting, writing and editing. We do have an enormous amount in common. I think it will be worth meeting up whether it is romantic or not. That way there is no pressure. I really enjoy the way you articulate and feel that we could find solutions to the work issues – should it work out. Incidentally do you have a car? If so, have you been to Winchester before? I like the idea of meeting up there because that is about half way. Talk soon Gracie.
What do you think Eva? I often wonder whether men have any clue about the discussions women have about them. I find it amusing how we spend our working day discussing and analysing their behaviour. At least it passes the mundane working hours. I haven’t fully involved the naughty boys with this Andreas yet either. I can imagine their faces lighting up and all of their opinions, pure carnage. They will train me like Rocky before going into a dating ‘fight’. I think that I want to keep this one quiet. They are still entertained by the date where I climbed out the toilet window and came face to face with the chap who had popped out for a smoke. That was a hideous moment! I still can’t believe I said I was training to be a burglar. He didn’t buy it – so I pointed at the cigarette and said ‘but you said you didn’t smoke! Liar!’ Oh all these dates over the years and look where I am – single! Boooo! Maybe singledom is the best thing. The women here call it singledooooooooom! I call it freedom. Oooops!
Gracie.
Here is the link:http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00ATF8QF2
The e-book will be on Amazon for 98pence until I complete the second in the series, which I hope to complete in the next month!
Rich idiot.com - dating - a taster...
A little taster of Richidiot.com - dating.
Pre-new year resolution plan and tick list:
Intention: this year I will meet an educated, respectful man who has dealt with his ‘baggage’. He will be excited about the prospect of meeting an intelligent, tall and inspirational woman (me).
He must be/have:
o Class / be a gentleman.
o Taller than me.
o Takes care of himself.
o No erroneous smells or bad breath. Must wash his undercarriage. (This is based on the flatulent date I went on).
o Good oral and genital hygiene.
o No obvious ear or nostril hair.
o Has own finances and own home. (Not six hundred thousand in debt like one of the ex’s)
o Respectful. This is a biggy!
o Passionate.
o Not depressed and over his ex.
o Available and not married!
o About the same age.
o Intelligent and can hold good conversation.
o Amusing / humorous get my jokes and find them funny.
o Good hide the sausage technique.
o Not an emotional turd-fest!
o NOT AN IDIOT!!!!
Honest opinions welcome!
Kind regards
Gracie.
Here is the link: Link: http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00ATF8QF2
A rather strange coincidence.
Imagine this - I climb on a train to go on a journey and I run into a young lady that I used to work with. She asks me about my office personality types and how it is going... She said she would love to read a book with all the office archetypes and personalities. It was quite a profound moment because these archetypes inspired Richidiot.com - dating... So with this in mind - my news is that I am going to compile the book of office observation and release it in the coming months. I have to admit, it is a fun one to write because all I have to do is sit and watch the 'office zoo!' Happy days.
Oh and the e-book for rich idiot is on for 98p until I release the second in the series here is the link:http://www.amazon.co.uk/Rich-Idiot-com-Dating-Idiot-ebook/dp/B00ATF8QF2
Friday, 6 July 2012
Rower's buttock and the bum massage ordeal!
Thursday, 29 March 2012
Dating and the random world of table football.
-
Okay, so I was not going to share this but by popular demand I apparently owe it to female kind to share one of my more random dates...
So I met this one on a fitness website - designed for people who are into exercise... I love rowing so I thought that a man who exercised would appeal to me. Imagine this - the moment I press click to join the website - the hottest bloke you could imagine instantly contacted me. I thought the heavens were smiling on me. He was beautiful, could type a sentence and was taller than me... Wow, wow and triple wow. At this point it is customary for me to look over my shoulder and wonder whether there is some kind of joke involved... Nope... Straight away we began to chat and he actually seemed nice. Again wooooooooooooooooooop! There had to be something.
I don't know about anyone else but I am searching for that chemical attraction and I thought - imagine - this could be it.
So after a heavy session of rowing which resulted in bleeding palms and blisters, I patched myself up with elastoplast and headed for the date. I know I am classy girl but if men can do the Italian shower with the Linx affect a woman can do the same with impulse - true love... Oh yes! So I there I am smelling of true love with a hint of perspiration and there he is... My goodness he was beautiful, tall, and... when he open his mouth well it was apparent that he had been granted the gift of beauty without the gift of intellect. He was such a nice chap but during the conversation he asked me to explain some of the words I was using...
Further into the date he showed me a picture of his newly decorated bedroom - it was decked out in Liverpool football posters, curtains and matching bedspread. To top it off there was a table football table beside his bed. He was so lovely but he did not get the 'so is that how you do foreplay joke?' I then had numerous visions of romantic moments with the Liverpool team gazind down from the wall. Then on top of that I became rather amused about being woken up in the night - 'shall we have a quickie - a game of table football.' Obviously my date was not so amused and the fact I was shaking with laughter probably did not appeal... Oh well t'is life. We all have our own special ways of doing things so I did not show him a picture of my bedroom with the taxidermied squirrels - only joking... But imagine if I had come back with a picture like that - all these stuffed squirrels... Right back to normal life.
Now with my previous blogs I always have a moral of the story and on my useless dates I have a summary. So the summary went like this - I feel that you and I have different tastes and I don't feel any chemistry. I don't think you feel it either. Good luck with finding the right one.
I was surprised to have a summary response from the beautiful man - 'I am glad you said that - I don't think I could go out with a girl with bigger biceps than me who is more intelligent. I liked meeting you though - but I feel stupid now. I always thought I was clever until I met you. Now I know I'm not...' Imagine how bad I felt then.
Moral of the story - dating sites for fit men do have fit men - however they may also have table football beside the bed.
When dating a fit man do not compare biceps especially if yours are bigger.
When dating any man do not make him feel stupid even if he is.
-
Okay, so I was not going to share this but by popular demand I apparently owe it to female kind to share one of my more random dates...
So I met this one on a fitness website - designed for people who are into exercise... I love rowing so I thought that a man who exercised would appeal to me. Imagine this - the moment I press click to join the website - the hottest bloke you could imagine instantly contacted me. I thought the heavens were smiling on me. He was beautiful, could type a sentence and was taller than me... Wow, wow and triple wow. At this point it is customary for me to look over my shoulder and wonder whether there is some kind of joke involved... Nope... Straight away we began to chat and he actually seemed nice. Again wooooooooooooooooooop! There had to be something.
I don't know about anyone else but I am searching for that chemical attraction and I thought - imagine - this could be it.
So after a heavy session of rowing which resulted in bleeding palms and blisters, I patched myself up with elastoplast and headed for the date. I know I am classy girl but if men can do the Italian shower with the Linx affect a woman can do the same with impulse - true love... Oh yes! So I there I am smelling of true love with a hint of perspiration and there he is... My goodness he was beautiful, tall, and... when he open his mouth well it was apparent that he had been granted the gift of beauty without the gift of intellect. He was such a nice chap but during the conversation he asked me to explain some of the words I was using...
Further into the date he showed me a picture of his newly decorated bedroom - it was decked out in Liverpool football posters, curtains and matching bedspread. To top it off there was a table football table beside his bed. He was so lovely but he did not get the 'so is that how you do foreplay joke?' I then had numerous visions of romantic moments with the Liverpool team gazind down from the wall. Then on top of that I became rather amused about being woken up in the night - 'shall we have a quickie - a game of table football.' Obviously my date was not so amused and the fact I was shaking with laughter probably did not appeal... Oh well t'is life. We all have our own special ways of doing things so I did not show him a picture of my bedroom with the taxidermied squirrels - only joking... But imagine if I had come back with a picture like that - all these stuffed squirrels... Right back to normal life.
Now with my previous blogs I always have a moral of the story and on my useless dates I have a summary. So the summary went like this - I feel that you and I have different tastes and I don't feel any chemistry. I don't think you feel it either. Good luck with finding the right one.
I was surprised to have a summary response from the beautiful man - 'I am glad you said that - I don't think I could go out with a girl with bigger biceps than me who is more intelligent. I liked meeting you though - but I feel stupid now. I always thought I was clever until I met you. Now I know I'm not...' Imagine how bad I felt then.
Moral of the story - dating sites for fit men do have fit men - however they may also have table football beside the bed.
When dating a fit man do not compare biceps especially if yours are bigger.
When dating any man do not make him feel stupid even if he is.
-
Labels:
datingrelationships,
football,
fun,
horror,
liverpool.,
men,
romance,
table
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