Hanging out for holidays and advancement in the knicker continuum

Hanging out for holidays.
So do you ever get to the point where you have not had any time off for a while and you are desperate for a holiday? I guess that would be most people… I was just thinking about it… As you can imagine I am having the palm tree daydream and I have just realised that it is close to five months since I took a holiday. I know… What am I playing at? The thing is I have been pretty sly and utilised all the coming bank holidays to use the most limited amount of holiday days and maximise the most time off possible… So as of the 22nd I have 17 days in a row using a whole seven days holiday – bliss!
So it is Wednesday and that means Wednesday call of doom! It is the most boring call in the world and the other team members are comfort eating chocolate digestives. Rather than add on the poundage I have wondered off into Michelle land of Laaaaaa and today the land of Laaaaaaa is full of holidays. Amongst the holiday scene a giant pair of knickers has doubled as a hammock! It seems the ’knickers on wheels’ post has raised a few eyebrows in the office and it seems knickers attached to wheels could become the next big thing… Dragging your knickers around the office on the bottom of your chair could be a signal for availability and single-dom. It could be a special mating signal - like those birds waving their giant red warbles about. Although I wouldn’t advise knicker waving from your chin.
Of course the post stimulated numerous knicker-loss horror stories… Of the numerous knickerless adventures, my friend’s knicker elastic evaporation was the worst. It is amazing how knicker elastic can select the most awkward of places to evaporate. While my friend was walking through the main central area within the place she worked that was precisely when the knicker escape began. Numerous business men sat at tables and her knickers slid down to her knees. To combat the issue she walked with a slightly wider stride but that did not help and the said knickers slid to her ankles. In that moment she had a choice – pull them back up or let them go… What would you choose? Whilst looking straight ahead she simply stepped out of the defiant undercarriage protectors and continued walking. What I find amazing is that no one pointed it out. It was as if it was a normal occurrence and a lone pair of knickers made their escape into the central meeting area. For the rest of that afternoon a pair of red, lace knickers remained on a white marble floor. People would not be able to miss them! Of course for the rest of the day she had to be aware that it was windy outside, she was wearing a skirt and could not allow anything to drop on the floor.
This then lead me to my ultimate horror story of loss of the knicker kind. This one also happened to me… In public, with a crowd and a school party!
I went to Cabo St. Lucas- Mexico , to swim the dolphin. My particular dolphin swimming partner was called Osiris. Now as part of the fun you get to hold onto the dolphin and swim. Unfortunately with a dolphin noise she blasted off and so did my bikini bottoms. Unfortunately we were in a pool, with large windows and a school party had just arrived. It was a while before I realised. I was just about to climb out after the rapid ride and I looked down in horror. The penny dropped and suddenly I understood that the dark material floating on the other side of the pool was in fact my nik naks! So after feeling somewhat humiliated by the dolphin, I had to swim back and collect them. The only possible good that could have come from that is that the school party would have had a lesson in female biology and the virtues of investing in pressure-resistant bikini bottoms.
I feel at this point it would be well worth having a moral of the story.
Moral of the story – invest in knickers that stick to you like glue… Actually no invest in anti-falling down knickers. Or alternatively wear two pairs of knickers then if you lose one pair you have a back up. For those who need an extreme contingency - wear three pairs. The should be a really small pair. The second a slightly larger pair and the third – a giant pair of granny knickers…!
Second Moral of the story - time your bikini bottom loss to be at night and away from a pool with windows.
Third moral of the story only go on holiday to nudist beaches and places where loss of knickers is not frowned upon.
From darkness came light and whether you realise it or not there are solutions for all knickery eventualities!

THE THRESHOLD OF BOREDOM & KNICKERS ON WHEELS!

The threshold of boredom and knickers on wheels.
Boredom… As my dad once said - boring people get bored. I would like to dispute this. Today I feel like a child who wants to go out and play. Outside the office there is bright sunshine and world that is full of potential. In the opposite camp I am sitting at my desk contemplating boredom. I feel like the child who has to do its homework before it gets to hang out with friends.
To alleviate a bit of boredom, I accidentally sent my colleague down to the shop with a vending card with not enough money to buy a coffee. It wasn’t intentional but she has just lined up to get to the front of the queue only to discover my lack of funds on the card and her lack of funds on her own card… A choice had to be made and humiliation ensued… This action generated a story and that story broke the ‘metrics’ tedium.
With boredom alleviation in mind I think I will share ‘my little incident.’ It began like this – each lunch hour I go to the gym. Not really for fitness purposes but it is an excuse to get out of the office and sweat. You can’t sweat in the office because it is frowned up… Obviously going to the gym involves bringing in a change of clothes… Well being desperate to get on with my work I put my bag down and threw myself into the world of metrics. A little later I was scooting between desks on my chair. At this point a colleague frowned at the floor and pointed.
‘Are those knickers?’
Everyone on the bank of desks stood up to witness a black lacy pair of knickers attached to the wheel of my chair. Imagine if they had been granny knickers or apple carriers. Anyway, the harsh reality was that I had been driving my knickers around the office. Some of the guys pointed out they had noticed it earlier but they wanted to see how long it would take me to notice. Potentially I could have driven around for days… Even worse -my knickers on wheels could have been a permanent fixture in the office. I may have started a knickers on wheels trend!
Moral of the story: don’t change your knickers after the gym. Invest in disposable knickers or deny that the knickers are yours… Now that would have been weird…
Right back to work… I have had my boredom alleviation….