If we all live for Friday then surely if we named all days Friday then we could live every day and not just live for the weekend… Sometimes I even astound myself with my own brilliance – how do I share that modestly? Actually there seems to be something wrong with that plan… We would not have a weekend and would just work seven days a week. Okay so I take it back – not quite so brilliant but the thought was there… So what about the endless Saturday? Hmmm… but then how would we afford the weekend if we did not have week days? My goodness I am actually glad for the week days because the weekend is a celebration of not working… Okay I feel better now. Although there should be a bit of daily celebration somewhere within the day… I will think about that…
You know what? I have just decided that celebration should be a necessary part of the day. At a certain point each day it would be lovely to do a little dance to celebrate being alive and the wonders of ‘the self’. Obviously I am not suggesting do the hokey cokey or the Macarena (how does one spell that word?) but a minimalist celebratory dance to remember that we exist and that life is good… Seventies staying alive dancing at the desk is a pure celebratory move. Body popping would be for the office show off and pole dancing for the office strumpet. The office bore would probably do dad dancing and the office little and cute would just do a cute little dance and everyone’s heart would warm. Those pigeons would probably start mating again… (if you are wondering what I am talking about this is in office little and cute posting.)
So today, it is Friday and I am excited… I am always quite excited but this time next week I am off on me holidays… In the meantime, I have team mates making suggestions on how to promote my books. So the general consensus of opinion, from the male contingency, comes down to nudity… Why does it always come down to being naked? They kindly came up with the Demi Moore cross legged pose with my books cleverly positioned. Why do they keep suggesting that I should be naked… Maybe we should have a nudist office… Oh how awful would that be? I suggest looking around the room and imagining that… Of course there would be issues. We would probably get pubes on the photo-copier and then we would have to bring little hankies so as not to make a mess or dirty the office furniture.
Anyway the boys are off on one… “Michelle the fact of the matter is nakedness sells!”
“So how will that sell a children’s book?” I asked.
The men grinned at me and told me that the dad’s would buy it and read it to their children…. They have an answer for everything. Me being me decided to throw a blow-up cat amongst the male pigeons… “So which of you would be willing to do that? You know pose naked with my books? Since we live in a world of equal opportunity....”
The men looked at each other with horror. “No… We were meaning you…”
“Oh really, well as we are all grown-ups and as you told me that nakedness sells – then your nakedness should equally sell.”
I watched three men go pale and almost retch when they glanced at each other and the thought of their hairy bodies being put on a billboard- suddenly it was not so appealing! The men being men then began to nominate the potential totty who would make a good naked poster… Bless them. Fantasy is a major part of their day… So around the office the general question was ‘would you pose naked to promote Michelle’s book?' Interestingly both the office strumpet and the office desperate (for hide the sausage) were very up for it – plus a few older randoms offered their lacking clothes services. So in the world of fantasy we now have a line of office workers posing naked with books arranged over naughty body parts. Since I used to work as a professional photographer I have been nominated to create the ‘imaginary’ image. Now, just to take this a little bit further I set a diary meeting… Title – naked picture for Michelle’s book promotion… At this point fear appeared in the numerous ‘oh I am up for it’ bunch and strangely none of them actually wanted to be photographed. It was all just naked book bravado…
So today it is a case of back to the book promotion drawing board… Oh and of course the men have come up with another naked idea – let’s get me riding a horse with my hair over said naked parts with my books as a bra… Lady book Godiva… What is it with men?
No comments:
Post a Comment