IN THE JAWS OF A FRIENDLY PITBULL!

Evening escapades…
Well as we know I am currently working on the Resonance but thanks to the world of technology and my net book I can take a stroll down to the pier, edit, people watch and eat a sausage. There is a diner on Boscombe pier, which sells rather tasty long sausages… I just walked up to the counter and the chap smiled at me… ‘I remember you – you’re the solitary sausage eater.’
What does that mean? That I am solitary or that I ate a lonely sausage… If so… I apologise now – I did not realise the sausage had emotions… Gosh – guilt trip! The thing is I have not had one of those solitary sausages for dinner for eight months so why have my sausage eating habits made such an impression on the man? I certainly hadn’t eaten one of his products near him, so there was no witnessing of the masticatory act.
‘Baps,’ he said.
What did he mean baps?
‘You don’t eat them with baps. You eat the sausage by itself. That is why I remember you. Dogs usually do that.’
Is it me, or was that not so complimentary? Therefore, not only had he remembered my sausage eating habits but also he now had likened them to a dog…. Can it get any better?
‘When I say dogs – the dog owners buy the solitary sausage for their dogs.’
I wonder if that makes them sausage dogs…
I just had one of ‘those’ thoughts – I just saw a French poodle and wondered if dogs have accents or bark in different languages… I wonder how a Chinese dog sounds in comparison to a Peruvian.
Well after such stimulating insight into dog owner’s habits, I have taken a seat on the pier deck. The beach has numerous sunshine loving opportunists who have made the dash down here after work too. To my right the world of chav is manifesting and multiplying as they do. Each carries a beer can, wears a tracksuit and is already spawning a child without even trying. To my left families wipe sand from children, attempt to control their children or simply shout at them… That is what happens when the sun shines in Beautiful Boscombe!
Boscombe pier is a place that is a hub of human zoological display. We have numerous runners, posers, drinkers, randomers and dog walkers all amalgamated into one specific area – next to the surf reef which is the kings new clothes of surfing. Oooh hang on I think I have just spotted boy totty with tight botty… oh typical – girlfriend trailing along behind pretending that she loves doing the 10k run when in actual fact she could better focus her energies on power shopping…
Oh I do love it here. Boscombe pier is just a walk down the hill from my flat and is a place that inspires… I do love Boscombe even though it is considered the grittiest part of Bournemouth… Where else can you people spot, be remembered for your sausage eating habits and where else can people shout the word relax in an aggressive tone? Where else can weirdo scream expletives at their non-existent dogs named Scampi? I am a lucky woman to live here…. There is so much to inspire my writing including the plastic orange sprayed women and the men with stupid haircuts…There are people on tandem bikes, drunken teenagers chasing each other and a dog owner trying to stop his pit-bull terrier from eating a King Charles Spaniel. He was trying to justify it by saying ’she is just very friendly,’ whilst prizing the small dog’s head from its mouth… Maybe he should have bought his dog a solitary sausage…. Maybe that sausage could actually save the world from all its ills.
The reality of this place is simply brilliant!
Right I have just been kicked off the pier… Apparently it is closing time.
Unfortunately my sausage reflection has had the chop and the chap next me is using glasses to drum the most annoying tune. It isn’t even a tune, more of an aggravating ensemble of noise… See… Where else can you get that? Actually, I think I am going to go back to editing… The resonance is in progress and I want to finish it so that I can read it in book form…
Woops… Maybe not, I have just seen one of my male friends in his van – I think the reality is more likely to be - visit the pub, discuss life, watch more people and just be ‘normal’. Ha! Then I will do some more editing… Just a little bit…