I MISSED A FEW OFFICE TYPES

Okay… So it seems I missed a few:

The office gossip.
She is usually buxom and has a tendency to cross her arms as she leans into hear everything and every one. She is a phenomenon because she can extract the intimate details of everyone’s personal life. She is there when someone breaks down and cries, she senses when something is brewing. She notices the subtle gestures between those who are hiding the sausage but trying to keep it quiet. She is an antennae for all goings on and when she gets the chance she sets herself up to be confided in. She is a gossip genius. When she feels she is ready to share she will subtly drop some of the most surprising antics into conversation. ‘So do you hear about…. Such a shame…’ ‘You would never believe… but so and so….’ ‘Guess who is ….’ Everyone wants to know her because people’s lives are brightened by this creature. It is natural to want to know about others but be aware that everyone probably knows about you too!

The office get away with doing absolutely nothing!
The diddly squatter of work. He spends all day on the internet reading the news, looking for cars to buy and bidding on e-bay. He looks like he is busy because he has developed ‘the I am really busy expression,’ but in truth he has done bugger all. Then when it comes to the end of the day his work is dished out to everyone else because it has not been done… He is the object of intense dislike. He rides the wave of ‘getting away with it’ for usually about six months, then he will either move department or get another job. Oh and when it comes down to bonus / pay rise time he is deeply wronged because he has not received anything. He does not get the equation of work in = pay out.

The office vanity.
On the desk there are lipsticks, nail varnishes, spare scarves, perfume etc. She is immaculate. Her hair always looks like the adverts and bounces perfectly. Her clothing is perfectly co-ordinated and her skin is clear like porcelain. She looks amazing, nothing is out of place and she always has a glossy magazine to reference. She takes pride in how she looks but disaster falls when a nail is broken. Catastrophy and drama ensue until super-glue is applied. The world then returns to stability.

The office mum.
She is there in times of need. She usually has available tea and biscuits. If anyone cries at the desk she is there batting off the office gossip and backstabber. Her atmosphere is pure mother, she nurtures, loves and supports. She is a wonderful woman and should receive more appreciation because she constantly gives with out the expectation of a return. We should have a national office mum day! Oh and never under-estimate the power of nurture!
The office power hungry.
This one is simple – they will do what they have to do to get where think they want to be. They will stamp on anyone and everyone to achieve their goal. What they do not consider is that to have power a person needs to feel powerful inside. The power hungry at some point has felt powerless and the chip on their shoulder drives them. They believe that in the future that having power will make them happy. A little insight here – power does not make people happy. Being happy is a state of being… Thought you might like to know that!

The office idiot.
He is rather silly, spends his life just getting by. He just does not get it, he never will because his mind resides in a land of complete idiocy. In a state of ignorant bliss he gets on with mundane and easy tasks that no one wants to do. He usually gets it wrong so it has to be done again. It is fine, he will not be upset, he will simply do something else equally badly. The others in the office have no clue how he got employed but the office idiot does serve his purpose in that he makes the rest of the office feel superior!

The office powerhouse of efficiency.
Done it. Yep done. Have you… Yep done, complete, done! This person is super efficient. They work like a machine. With big gestures they tick yet another thing off their list. They are super efficient and like to let everyone know it. Yes they do make others feel inadequate but we do need this person within the office dynamic to support the office idiot and the ‘I have done diddly squat!’
The thing is this person will end up with burnout at some point or build massive resentment for the people who cannot keep up. She will ask something to be done and will learn that only she will do it… It is a harsh realisation for the Office powerhouse of efficiency that other people do not get satisfaction from being the most efficient.



Okay… So it seems I missed a few: